Little Drummer Boy

This year I've been struck by the words of the Christmas song "Little Drummer Boy".
We were listening to Toby Mac's new Christmas CD & there's a pretty jammin' version on there. Very "drummy". :)

Anyway, as I listened to the words, really paying attention for the 1st time, I was struck by the little drummer boy's attitude.

He went to go see the new little baby king.
Then he begins to sing to little baby Jesus,
"I am a poor boy too (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I have no gift to bring (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
That's fit to give our King (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
Shall i play for You (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
On my drum?"

Then he goes on to say that Mary nodded, it was OK if he played his drum.
"The ox and lamb kept time (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I played by drum for Him (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I played by best for Him (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
Then He smiled at me (Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
Me and my drum."

Anyway, what I was so struck by was the humble attitude the little boy brought.
He admitted he had nothing fancy to give the new King.
But he could play his drum, if that was OK.
And with mother's approval, and the animals joining in,
he played his drum, he played his best for Jesus,
and Jesus SMILED at him.
That's the part that got me!

Suddenly it became crystal clear to me, that Jesus doesn't want fancy gifts.
He wants what we already have, what He has already given us.
He wants us to give Him what we already have.
What we have, that is what He wants.
And He smiles when we humbly and lovingly offer it up to Him.
He will not ask us to give Him what we do not have, what we cannot afford.
But He is pleased, enough to SMILE when we offer up to Him
the unique strengths & abilities He placed in us when He designed us.
Now that puts a SMILE on my face. :)
May he smile all over you!

~Merry Christmas ~

Here's a link to TobyMac's song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aihoiMqMj1U&feature=related
*Gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it!

My Personal Reflection while Listening to The Moldau

By Nancy L. Kenaston
November 17, 2011

I don’t think I will ever listen the orchestral piece of music, called The Moldau, by Bedrich Smetana, the same again. Today the local classical music radio staion began playing this piece, and having just completed my homework for the day, I turned aside from the computer, cranked up the sound, and closed my eyes, to bask in the music. I stood in the middle of the room, so as to get the best sound from the speakers, and just absorb the piece.

Halfway through the score, thoroughly enjoying it (as it is my favorite piece of classical music) I began wondering how fitting the piece might be for my own memorial service some day. Not to be morbid, but thoughts like that do cross my mind from time to time. I continued to listen to the piece, remembering that it was about the journey of a river, flowing from mountains high by castles, out to the sea. It was about a journey. It seemed a bit fitting for the end of a memorial service.

As I continued to listen, now in the part where the river leads out into the deep ocean, I continued to think about how my own spiritual journey will proceed from this life to the next. That is when my listening, turned into another experience all together.

I continued to listen, as the river flows out into the ocean, and there are powerful sounds, battle like. And I began to wonder if this piece of music could not be looked at, from a different perspective.

What if the “journey” was really about our life journey? What if, as the river flows into the ocean, the piece of music were really giving us a tiny glimpse into the spiritual reality that occurs when we pass from this temporal life to the eternal? The strong, battle like music was now playing.

As I listened, I imagined myself, passing from this earth’s realm, to a heavenly realm, before God, at the entrance to heaven. The music almost began to sound as if the “accuser” were starting to pile up accusations against me, before God Almighty, hoping to point out what a wretched sinner, black and stained, I was. The accusations piled up higher and higher, and they seemed to get bigger, and deeper, and more injurious, and more damning, the longer the accuser spewed them forth. The accuser’s fervor is almost palpable, you can see him raising his fist, slamming it down in the face of such obvious proof I was NOT fit for God’s kingdom. And when he rallied his last strength, and heaved the last, weighty, deadly accusations upon the mountainous pile beside him, the music dies down…fading…as if we all wait to hear what God’s verdict will be.

And then, He begins, declaring firmly and steadily, that, because of Christ’s holy blood shed for me, I am safe! I am His, and He is mine. He knows what I have done. He knows who I am. He knows it all. And yet, He said, there is therefore no condemnation upon me any further, because I have welcomed Christ’s gift to me, salvation, and have bowed low and worship Him as Lord, and I am HIS! That’s it. No more.

Then the music begins to slowly fade down, and wrap up. It is as if He has enfolded me in the royal robes of His glory, and we have both turned, and are walking away, with our backs to the accuser.

And then the music displays it all, the SILENCE of the accuser, and the doors of heaven slamming shut, locked, behind us, forever1

If you have never listened to the piece of music before, I hope you will someday. And if you have listened before, I hope you got goose-bumps with me, as you imagined all I said, happening to the score.

My "New Normal"

I've finally settled into my "new normal".
Feels like I finally found my balance and adjusted to this new season.
Every now & then it's a bit overwhelming....
but that's usually when I'm worrying about the future,
and I'm childishly seeing it without God present.
As soon as I remember HE will be there too, no matter what happens,
His amazing & powerful peace returns.
(Thank you to the author Sarah Young, for the devotion yesterday
pointing this out!)

Being a counselor is much harder work than I ever imagined...
it is so much more than just listening well.
Listening well is really just the beginning. Sigh......
Thinking critically, while I'm listening, is a whole new skill
I'm just now beginning to learn about.

Then depending on the Holy Spirit in the midst of it all
is a whole nother dimension.

Sprinkle on top of all that, life's busyness, stressors, trivial issues,
all while trying to keep a balance on my own spiritual, emotional
& physical health...and it's really a lot to learn to juggle.
But if I don't keep myself balanced, then I will be an IN-effective counselor.

And I'm trying to remember that "balance" is not a static thing.
It's more of a dynamic thing, as I learn to "flow" and adjust
to the changes around me.
(Thank you to author Valorie Burton in Listen to Your Life
for this new understanding of "balance".)

Thank you for sharing in my "reflecting". :)

Further thoughts of kid's being like mirrors...

...as I was struggling with Grace's unwillingness to let go of wadded up papers, broken toys, baby-toys, and other "useless garbage" in my opinion...it suddenly dawned on me, what kind of "useless garbage" is God trying to coax out of my hands/heart/life? What am I so desperately holding onto, clinging to, willing to even CRY if He dares try to talk me out of giving up?

Is her unwillingness to give up this stuff an obvious, in-your-face sign...or maybe a less-obvious, subtle sign, causing me to just stop & think....hmmmmmm.....

Just food for thought~

Little Mirrors

What if...
...our children are often like little "mirrors" or images of us, reflecting to us, our relationship with God? All part of the Heavenly Father's goal of teaching us, re-directing us, guiding us, to walk more gracefully, surrenderingly (is that a word?), obediently, faithfully with Him.

I struggle so hard with Grace not listening to me, totally tuning me out due to the T.V., or her own busy, creative, fun-living/work-avoiding mind and heart.
If I do get her attention, and I instruct her to do something (or 2-3 things) or ask her a question, often I am met with...
...forgetfulness
...her own re-prioritization, according to her desires, often adding in 1 other thing she wants to do first
...or blatant rebellion, as she chooses to NOT do what I asked her and DO what she wants instead.

It is SO hard to get her just to LISTEN & OBEY, almost impossible at times.
What if...I go back up to the "I struggle" line and put MY name in there, and read it all from God's perspective, His voice?

Hmmmmmm....

What are your kids doing lately that is driving you crazy?

Deep Pressure & Freaking Out

A friend of mine shared this with me today, from her friend who is an experienced scuba diver. I hope it brings you the same kind of relief & encouragement it brought me.

"When you do really deep dives in the ocean, often you are surrounded by water, more water and even more water, and heading for the surface takes a lot of hard work (swimming) because of the pressure. Consequently, although you can be swimming hard, the depth gage doesn’t move very noticeably, so it’s easy to freak out and think you’re not getting anywhere. That’s when you have to take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and watch the smallest bubbles. The small bubbles rise, but very slowly, and all your leg work IS helping you keep up with them so they stay right in front of your mask as an encouragement that you’re gonna make it."

So take a deep breath, exhale, and know that if the bubbles don't seem to be moving, it's cause you're keeping up with them!

I felt this was powerful & it touched something deep within me. I am sensing intense relief that, yes, I am making progress. When I can't see it, it is because I am moving as fast as the bubbles are!

I am in a DEEP place right now, feeling SURROUNDED, and it's HARD WORK, and there's PRESSURE, and I keep FREAKING OUT, and then I take that DEEP BREATH, and EXHALE SLOWLY, and realize, yes, I AM GOING TO MAKE IT. :)

What a great visual for stopping, re-focusing on & releasing to God, and spiritually watching as my prayers & surrendering to Him float up to His throne, reminding me of the real reality I am in the middle of. I am in the middle of His Great Plan. ~

Lectio Divina & My Spiritual Posture

I am beginning to practice taking a new...approach, no...perspective, no...posture when I come before God. Not a physical posture, but a new mental and spiritual posture. I was really challenged when I read about something called "Lectio Divina." My whole attitude when I come before God can really be so tarnished at times. Even when I manage to come before Him with the purest intentions (ie: not a long list of wants, or complaints, etc...), I have come to realize I so often miss the mark. I know He is thrilled that I have come to Him. (And I am thrilled He welcomes me!) But when I read about this, I realized He was offering me a much better way to come before Him.

I can come to Him like a rowdy child banging her fork and spoon, yelling, "Where's my food! Where's my food!" Then when the food arrives I whine "I don't like liver and brussel sprouts!" Or I can come like a child with hands washed, ready to receive whatever I am given, grateful.

The following are notes taken from the book
Invitation to a Jorney: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation
by M. Robert Mulholland Jr., 1993, Intervarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL, pages 112-114. (There is a table, which I must reformat to use in this blog.)

“The discipline of spiritual reading finds its classical expression in what is known as lectio divina. Lectio is a posture of approach and a means of encounter with a text than enables the text to become a place of transforming encounter with God.

Table 4. Lectio Divina

Silencio-------Preparation for spiritual reading
-----------------Inner shift - from control to receptivity
-----------------------------from information to formation
-----------------------------from observation to obedience
Lectio---------Reading/receiving
-----------------Nurtures “sensing” dynamic
Meditatio-----Processing [what we have received]
-----------------Nurtures “thinking” dynamic
Oratio---------Response to God from the heart
-----------------Nurtures the “feeling” dynamic
Contemplatio-Yielding and waiting upon God
------------------Nurtures the “intuitive” dynamic
Incarnatio-----Living out the text

The whole focus of spiritual reading is to encounter God in ways that enable God to transform our being and doing in the world.”

Transformation.
Yep, that's what I'm looking for.
If this little practice can up my odds, bring it on!

Syllabus shock AGAIN!

Every Wednesday morning I sit down to schedule out my homework for the week, trying to spread it out, and when I count up how many hours of homework I have, I think YIPES! 13 HOURS! Plus I still have to write the 5-6 page paper for the elective class I just took!

BUT...then I remember...I HAVE gotten all my homework done so far, and on time too. :) I CAN do it. Every Tuesday afternoon, right before class, it all ends up being done. One way or another. No all nighters. No missing meals. Missing my family a bit though.

Well, tonight, after dinner, to the park we go! Then Grace goes to bed early. Then Scott & my time. :)

Quicker "syllabus shock" recovery than last week. That's progress. ~

Conflict & Making Mistakes

From my reading today~

Did you know…

Conflict has benefits ~
Releases tension
Promotes growth
Regulates distance between people
Prevents stagnation
Encourages dialogue
Eventually bringing people closer together
(from: Introduction to Counseling: Voices from the Field by Kottler, & Shephard, 2011, p. 98)

Making Mistakes ~
Re: showing empathy
“incorrect attempts at empathy are a normal part of counseling…When the counselor tries to communicate an understanding of a client’s feelings or thoughts and gets it wrong…If the counselor recognizes the client’s discomfort and apologizes for the mistake, the counselor-client bond is strengthened; repeated episodes of this failure-apology sequence assist the client in better tolerating the empathic failures that are inevitable in all intimate relationships (Wolf, 1988)”
(from: Introduction to Counseling: Voices from the Field by Kottler, & Shephard, 2011, p. 102)

I’m so encouraged to know making mistakes is
not only regular & acceptable,
but expected
and can actually have a positive effect!

Spiritual Family

In a writing assignment the other day, I had to list what “family” means me. I started by writing about my family of origin (my mom, dad & sister), proceeded to my extended family, and concluded the section mentioning my “spiritual family”. My spiritual family, those brothers, sisters & mentors who encourage me in my walk with God, are AS important to me as my blood relations.

This morning I was reading Matthew 12:46-50. Here’s what Jesus said,
46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

As I checked out the study notes below the text, I realized this same story is listed in Mark chapter 3 as well as Luke chapter 8. Hmmmmmm…..I went and read what those accounts said (pretty much the exact same thing) and looked at those text’s study notes as well. One of those comments resonated deeply with me.
“Membership in God’s spiritual family, evidenced by obedience to Him, is more important than membership in our human families.” (NIV Study Bible notes re: Mark 3:34)

Wow. I was struck again at the realization that the spiritual world is most important with God, over our physical world. This physical world is just a shadow, warming us up, teaching us, preparing us for what reality is.

“Thank You LORD for the treasure of our spiritual family! And thank You Jesus for confirming to us how important they are in our lives.”

Thank YOU for being a part of my family. :)

Tuesday night, 4:10 pm....

A friend asked how I'm doing.....
I'm doing OK, just busy, busy, busy with school,
trying to keep the house caught up,
pay attention to Scott & Grace,
keep up with some quality time with the Lord each morning,
and work out 2-3 times a week,
and ASK GOD WHAT I CAN TAKE OFF MY TO-DO LIST! :)
:)
Trying to adjust to the new routine...
looking forward to 2-3 weeks down the road when it starts to feel like the "new normal"?

But, THANK GOD, a dear friend (thank you Caroline!) brought us DINNER tonight!!!!! :)
Homemade pasta sauce & meat balls, pasta, organic lettuce, homegrown cucumber, and tasty lo-fat BROWNIES! :q
Tonight's homework is DONE!
Almost time to start boiling the water to toss those tender noodles in.....

Transforming Reflection

So here it is! The blog I keep mentioning I "might" start. :) I finally found a name!

So why did I pick "Transforming Reflection"? Well, I'd mentioned liking the word "reflection" and the reason why was because, as I started the Masters of Arts in Counseling program, I discovered that reflecting is one of my ways of processing what I'm learning. My favorite things to reflect on are events, wisdom, or insights that were transformational for me. By transformational, I mean, they helped change and shape me into who I am.

In this blog "reflect" can mean either 1) to look back & ponder, or it can mean 2) to give back, to show. This is it's two-fold meaning, a gift to me and hopefully a gift to you, and one that might cause further transformation.~

Ideally, I wanted to have some polished, classy introduction to this blog.
Realistically, with as crazy as my schedule has already become, this will just have to do.

I will NOT let my perfectionistic tendencies get in the way. :) Adjusting to 8-12 hours of homework a week, on top of an already busy life, has proved more difficult than I expected. But so far I AM exercising 2 of the 3 times I've scheduled for the week, HURRAY for me! :) Walking & yoga. That feels good. I'm pretty sure it's been one of my sanity preservers.

Tomorrow will be my 1st "real" class. The past 3 weeks I've been in "Graduate Seminar": a class preparing me for the journey through this graduate level course. This next class is "Basic Counseling Skills and the Helping Relationship".

I hope you will come back often to say "Hi", have a chance to reflect, and take part in some more transformation.~

Yahoo! Here I go!

"Hang on to your hats & sunglasses! This here is the wildest ride in the wilderness!" ~ Big Thunder Mountain Railroad announcer at Disneyland.

BTW-The "Invitation to a Journey" book in the photo above was GREAT! It is all about the spiritual journey all Christians take, our spiritual formation, of being conformed to the image of Christ for the sake of others. AMAZING read. The "Thriving" book was good as well. It's sub-title is "A Manual for Students in the Helping Professions" and it's all about how to THRIVE, not just survive, as you head into the journey of the helping professions.